Eclipse of Life 

Looking back in time, I scan the memories of our journey to this time and place.  With all my heart I realize though we are a few years into our relationship we are only beginning the true oneness God has given us to share. 

It appears that the majority of life is haunted by our past, even from birth.  But over time it escalates from our own selfishness, fears, guilt and reproach of this world. 

From this eclipse of life, still the partition God has made remains to be seen and proclaimed.  The separation of light and dark, good and evil, truth and false, real and unreal.  Yet to be proclaimed and seen with every breath we take.  As we hide behind our past, through whatever illusion or mask, the present and future beckon us along its path.  And at this time, that is where I wait. 

Waiting, I smirk at the thought, this appears to be the doorway to my very soul.  Wait, but with what patience are we to stand still, and allow God's will to arrive and begin again on the path God has derived. 

I, countless times have superseded God's desires and trampled down a path, even his, only to face his wrath of irritability with me.  But thankful I am that he cares for me so much to make life right for me.  To set me back on the path chosen or the place on the path I need to be until he is ready for me to know.   For this gift of "Love," I say "Thank You." 

I say all this to conclude yet another chapter in my life.  One in which has driven me in all directions of emotions yet finding me "still" at last. 

All based on a promise.  A gift of "love" given to me.  I have traveled a long hard road to finally make it to this place I wait and at given moments am allowed to go forward only in minute steps. 

"Here I Stand," were words the Lord had given me for my companion.  More than a friend, he is, we are "God's promise" to me.  A thing of beauty, yet coupled with fear and anxiety, it is bombarded with the hex of reproach and tainted with despise and disgust, dripping as such the ooze from the soars that have plagued our lives.  You see in my partner of life the scars are so deep, and at times infected so that they deflect the beauty that is held. 

God spends so much time making us behave.  Because of our fear and guilt, we are either afraid to go forward or feel as though we are not worthy of such a walk. 

How foolish we are to have such thoughts.  For even in this rainbow of gladness, there will be storms of sadness.  Which have nothing and yet everything to do with our past.  Of this are we not aware?  Are we so blinded by reproach that we can not see the truth that befalls us in the simplest of forms. 

The rainbow was a gift given to Noah from God as a promise he would no longer flood the entire earth.  Yet he made no promises that there would be no more storms.  The world was so horrid and disobedient that God wanted to start over.  He now forgives us of our sins, our past in whatever form he heals, yet we repeat or recreate.  Did the Lord not say our sins are thrown as far as the east is from the west?  Do we not realize what a profound statement that is?  Are we that superficial not to believe that deep? 

A simple matter of faith, faith as a mustard seed.  Just to believe in his love, his forgiveness, his trust, all to bring us his gifts and the walk we now stand upon. 

Whoever would say "I am not worthy of such love, these gifts God entails."  What a fool to make such a comment, for this is a slap in the face to our creator.  Yet we accept the love of Jesus and proclaim our Christianity, yet we do not proclaim the rest of the beauty he gives. 

Worthy indeed, no one is truly worthy of God's love, yet it is because of his love we are worthy. 

Acceptance in the purest form, as if a child, for we are to come to the Lord as children, with complete "Trust."  Yes it means, no inhibitions, anxieties, fears or hidden agendas.  We are not to lie in wait of the horror that feeds our minds, but instead the love that feeds our souls. 

To wait, with patience of understanding, that no matter what, God's will shall be done, if we will fully trust in his love.  It appears such a simple statement, and it is in the simplest form.  But how hard it is when we add the overlay of time.  We tend to supersede God's caring and want for our lives, hence our ongoing trials in life. 

Our pathway from God is paved with pure perfection.  No stone nor mountain in the way that our Lord can not flatten and make smooth.  It is our inability to see this truth, so we are inclined to recreate the pebble or mountain and injure or struggle to climb the path that has been maintained by Christ.  What fools are we to live in such false imagery.  Instead of just being "Thankful," we think "to good to be true."  Again a slap in the face to Christ who suffered so that we can live a blessed life, an eternal life. 

How tiring it must be to our Lord to prove to us over and over his love and blessings in our lives.  What an example of his patience, and example we should become.   

Deanna